It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

Race Day

2009-03-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

It's always a shock to the system once the gun goes off. Running, biking, swimming-- this was no different. You get the go signal and you plunge in. There's an eerie moment of calm before it sinks in and then you're all adrenaline...

...we woke at 4:30 AM to still dark skies, prepared our breakfasts, ourselves, made last minute checks to our gear and our bikes and then met downstairs at the hotel to head together as a group to the check in area. After we were numbered and had unpacked our bags and set up our bikes for transition, the sun was just rising as we began our warm-ups. It was crowded. People were rushing to and fro. Race officials shouted last minute instructions. We met thirty minutes before the start at the finish line to take our group photo and then gathered by the water for a last minute speech and a mental walk through of the course from coach. It killed my swim warm up time, but it was worth it, those last minutes of calm before the storm...

...and then there we were, splashing away, hundreds of kicking feet in front of me, clawing hands behind me and pushing bodies to my left and right. The swim start of a triathlon is no place for the claustrophobic. I was ready though and the water was warm and, while I can't say all that much for my swimming ability, I'll say this: I was satisfied. I came out of the water where I wanted to be and ran to the transition area to gear up for the ride. That's when it all fell apart.

I don't know if it was nerves, or my bad swimming habit of swallowing air when I breathe, but I was a belching, gagging wreck all through the ride. I pushed as hard as I could and was humbled by the strong cyclists who passed me. All through the road to the highway, down the highway to the turn-around and back to the resort I struggled on aching legs, bubbling stomach and lungs that just couldn't get enough air. I threw up in my mouth a little. It was not fun. At least, it shouldn't have been, yet there I was doing it and, as much as I wanted it to be over and done, I was having a grand old time.

For all the hoots and hollers that come with a ride headlong into tropical winds, I was glad to be back in the transition area and back in my element for the run. I trotted out gingerly, taking the first mile or so slow, as I promised myself, so my legs wouldn't cramp up. The weather was heating up, so I grabbed water at the first station. It was so icy cold that I nearly choked on the first sip. I threw the rest over my head, almost regretting it as I shivered, but knowing that I needed to keep my core temperature cool. I kept it together all through the first half mile, up the first small hill and then, as I came down the other side, I picked it up. I passed my first few runners and was, in turn, passed by one. I kept picking it up. When I hit the second hill-- the longest one on the course-- I was struggling a bit, but still I pushed. As I passed John-- the first teammate who was ahead of me, he shouted encouragement.

"Yeah Dave!", and then, seeing the back of my shirt, he added, "Do it for Brenden."

So I did.

No one else passed me on the run. I overtook the only other teammate ahead of me within a mile and then steadily picked it up from mile three to four. I pushed through four and five-- I was heating up like crazy now, my heels burning, my legs starting to ache, but still I pushed. Through the resort, over the goat path, along the lagoon, then back down to the lava trail on the shore I kept the pace. I struggled on the rocks a bit, but I was nearly there, I knew. By the time I hit the sand, I'd less than a quarter mile to go. I could see the finish, hear the music, and I was ready to be done. Across the foot bridge and over the soft sand I fled. Just a little ways more and the sand firms up. I told myself, as each step slipped back behind me and my form wavered in all directions. With about two-hundred meters to go, the sand did become firmer and that's when I sprinted out whatever I had left.

At the finish line, I collapsed. I sat for a good minute or two, collected some water and some Gatorade and the threw myself back into the bay to cool off-- best dip in the ocean ever.

and then I was done.

Thank you to everyone who donated to my fundraising page. Thank you to everyone who supported me. Thank you to Team In Training-- to my coaches, mentors, and teammates. Thank you to Brenden Foster for the inspiration to finish without leaving anything behind.

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Race Day
Olympic distance triathlon: 2:35:47

Hawaii Time

2009-03-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

I was much less nervous about my race in the days leading up to it than I had expected. At least part of this probably had to do with being in paradise. It's not that I wasn't busy. There were course previews and light workouts, bike unpackings, meal planning, hotel check ins, logistics and planning, but there was also sitting by the pool and having one or two cocktails. Not too many though. By Saturday morning, I was healthy and I was ready.

No excuses.

------------

Day 73 of training: (Thursday - 10 mile bike, 1.5 mile jog, .5 mile swim)
Group rides: 5
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 11
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 19
Ocean Swims: 14
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Day 74 of training: (Friday - course preview)
Group rides: 5
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 11
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 19
Ocean Swims: 14
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1
Race Course Previews: 1

Day 75 of training: (Saturday - easy bike ride)
Group rides: 6
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 11
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 19
Ocean Swims: 14
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1
Race Course Previews: 1

Nearly There

2009-03-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

In less than five days I'll be in the water, trying to stay calm, trying to swim fast, trying not to get my face kicked by the competitors in front of me. It's closing in.

Since the start of things in late November I've biked, swam and ran the miles through fatigue, injury and mental challenges. I've raised over $5700.00 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I've met my goals and I'm proud of that, really, but it was easy. As coach says: "Triathlons aren't hard. Chemotherapy is hard."

I'm lucky. I can do this triathlon. I can get out of bed in the wee hours of the morning on the beautiful island of Hawaii and I can push myself to the limit for over two and a half hours (and hopefully under three). I get to experience the scenery, the weather, the wind on my face and the freedom of being able to take my body places most people never get to. I can do these things because I am healthy and I will do them in honor of those who can not, because they struggle with cancer.

I've been fortunate to not have cancer affect very many people close to me. Our honored teammates who are survivors and the stories we have heard about those who were not so fortunate are reminders to be thankful that I'm alive and well. Did I have a tough week this week? Sure, but I had a week and I'm glad for every minute of it. Really, I've got nothing to complain about.

I've had the emotional support of many of you and you're reached out and supported Team In Training's mission to fundraise for The Leukemia & Lymphoma society and helped me reach my goal. I'm proud to call all of you my friends. I will be thinking of you and trying not to let you down during my race.

I've decided I don't care about how many people I pass or what my final time is so much as I care about this one thing: that I give it my all. I want to cross the finish line with no regrets and nothing left and for that, I'm going to need some extra strength. So I'd like to tell you about Brenden Foster.

This remarkable eleven-year-old from Washington fought bravely for three years against leukemia. Towards the end of his struggle, he made a wish and it wasn't to go to Disneyland or to get a new toy. It wasn't anything for himself. Seeing some homeless on the street, Brenden wished to help them.

On November 21st, 2008, Brenden lost his battle to leukemia, but not before winning a victory much larger. His selflessness inspired others across the country to take action in their communities and make a difference. From Seattle to Los Angeles, Florida to Ohio, people organized food drives, passed out sandwiches and donated to food banks.

Can you imagine? If I faced what this child, twenty-two years younger than me, had to come to terms with, I would have withered into a puddle of self-pity, but Brenden faced up to the hand he was dealt and made a difference. I have requested permission from his family to compete in the lavaman triathlon in his honor and to wear his name on my jersey. If I can do this race with the barest sliver of the courage that Brenden had, then I know I'll finish without anything left behind.

Some people tell me that I'm doing a good thing, volunteering, raising money for LLS. Some friends have even called me inspiring. I'm doing this race because I can. It's that rare breed like Brenden who is truly inspiring. All I'm doing is chasing after them to catch a little of their glow.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me get this far.

----

Final training week:

Day 66 of training: (Saturday - Practice Triathlon)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 10
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 16
Ocean Swims: 12
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Day 67 of training: (Sunday - 1.5 mile Ocean Swim)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 10
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 16
Ocean Swims: 13
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Day 68 of training: (Monday - 15 mile bike ride)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 10
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 16
Ocean Swims: 13
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Day 69 of training: (Thursday - 7 mile run)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 10
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 17
Ocean Swims: 13
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Day 70 of training: (Friday - spin class)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 11
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 17
Ocean Swims: 13
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Day 71 of training: (Saturday - 2 mile ocean swim)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 11
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 17
Ocean Swims: 14
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Day 72 of training: (Sunday - 3 mile run)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 10
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 11
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 18
Ocean Swims: 14
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3
Practice Triathlons: 1

Bicycle Open House and Fundraiser

2009-03-15T09:06:00.001-07:00

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We are having a fundraising event at Adams Avenue Bicycles in University Heights this Thursday evening from 7PM - 9PM. Select items will be discounted and 10% of sales will go the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. It is open to everyone, so bring friends and family.

This is a great shop for everyone to know about. They do a lot for LLS, including a standing 10% discount for all TNT participants. Please come check them out and support our fundraising. Details are in the flyer above. Please forward them to anyone who you feel may be interested.

The Injury Evasion Fandango

2009-03-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Not my favorite dance.

As I may have said before, I'm so used to worrying about my bad hip, that I've forgotten that it's possible for me to get injured elsewhere. So far in tri training I've lumbered through sore calves, pain in my left Achilles, creaky knees and, most recently, a muscle strain in my left quadriceps. Not too bad. There's ways to treat and even avoid injuries, but my moves are a little rusty. Always warm up slow and then stretch before any speed work. Stretch after each workout for a good 15 minutes, hitting all muscle groups. Ice anything that aches, 3 times a day for 20 minutes. Take ibuprofen sparingly, but take it when needed. Rest when you have to. I know the steps, but they no longer come as second nature. I've been cutting corners all over the place, stepping on toes and, frankly, it's starting to show.

Muscle tightness was never a problem for me before, but this week, the physical therapist showed me how I was bound up all over the place. He stretched me and kneaded out the knots and adhesions in my legs (quite painfully, I might add), showed me some stretches to do on my own, gave me ultrasound and cold laser therapy (that's a new one to me), taped me up and sent me on my merry way.

I feel much better.

Yesterday evening, I went on a tentative run and felt pretty good. I got in about 3 slow miles and felt like I could have kept going, but I wanted to stay safe. We've got a practice triathlon tomorrow.

This morning I rose early (for me) to swim the cove at 7:15. It was a perfect day. The sun hadn't yet breached the hills to the east when I got there, making the smooth water look like green glass. At the quarter-mile buoy, I turned and saw that the moon was still setting in the western sky. I felt balanced and calm, floating between the sun, which had risen behind me, and the moon in front. This is why I got up in the morning. This is the moment I love best in ocean swimming-- pausing for a few minutes in the middle, head bobbing just above the water line, to float under that great, big sky.

----

Practice triathlon tomorrow at Moonlight Beach in Encinitas, if anyone wants to come cheer me on. Gun goes off at 7:30 am. With luck I'll be done before 9.

----

In fundraising news, Adams Avenue Bicycles in University Heights has been kind enough to put together an open house for us on Thursday, March 19th from 7 - 9 pm. There will be discounted gear and 10% of the night's proceeds will go to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, so grab your friends and come on down. Details are:

Adams Avenue Bicycles Open House to benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

Thursday, March 19th, 7PM - 9PM

Open to everyone with discounts on selected items

Adams Avenue Bicycles
http://www.aabikes.net/
* 2606 Adams Avenue
* San Diego, CA 92116
* (619) 295-8500

10% of proceeds will be donated to Team In Training to help find a cure for blood cancers.

-----

and, as always, my training summary:

Day 59 of training: (Thursday - easy bike ride)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 11
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 10
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 60 of training: (Saturday - Iron Mountain bike ride)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 11
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 10
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 61 of training: (Sunday - Pool warm up and drills)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 10
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 62 of training: (Monday - 1.5 mile ocean swim)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 11
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 63 of training: (Wednesday - spin class)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 10
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 11
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 64 of training: (Thursday - short run)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 10
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 16
Ocean Swims: 11
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 65 of training: (Friday - 0.75 mile ocean swim)
Group rides: 4
Solo rides: 9
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 10
Pool Swims: 12
Maintenance Runs: 16
Ocean Swims: 12
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

These Are A Few of My...

2009-03-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

Swimming the La Jolla Cove may be what I love besta about San Diego.

Day 58 of training: (0.75 mile ocean swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 11
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 10
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Merely A Flesh Wound

2009-03-04T14:35:00.000-08:00

Good news: the doc says that it's just a muscle strain and it should be better in a week or two. I am cleared to swim and bike and do light running as pain allows. I promptly got back in the saddle by taking the day off.

Day 57 of training: (Monday Pool Swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 11
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 9
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Slightly Later, Slightly Drunker

2009-03-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

Let's be clear about one thing: this is not a cop out.

This is not to say that there isn't part of my that's glad that this whole race thing might not turn out to be as balls out as I had imagined. Sure, there's part of my that's glad that I have this excuse and that thinks maybe now I can just enjoy myself, but that's not it, is it? I'm going to do this and I'm going to train for this as best I can, even if that means nothing but swimming and aqua jogging til race day.

I'm sure I had more to say about this, but somewhere between starting to write this and finishing, there was poker night with the lads and all that, and now slightly drunker has become shnockered, so I'm going to bed on the couch and I'm going to say this just this one last time: This Is Not A @#$%! Cop-Out. I'm doing this race whether you like it or not.

So there.

PS: Give your money to my friends:
http://www.tinyurl.com/find-a-cure or http://www.tinyurl.com/cure-blood-cancer

Stress (fracture?)

2009-03-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

After Tuesday's track workout, my left thigh started hurting a bit-- like a Charlie-horse. I didn't think much of it. The pain wasn't near any joints, so it was probably just muscular, and muscles heal. Wednesday was a swim, so it didn't much matter and didn't much come to mind. It became more persistent and, hence, more worrisome as Thursday wore on. Placing too much weight on my leg, making a sudden turn, even twisting my knee in a certain way, meant increasingly worsening surges of pain.

I've a bad hip and probably shouldn't be running anyway, but I feel like I know what the problem there is, know how much damage I'm doing to it and can, therefore, manage it. I'm so used to paying attention to what's going on there, that I'm afraid I forgot that I could get injured in other places too. Shooting pain from the middle of my thigh, whenever I put weight on it, could indicate a stress fracture. A few self tests, performed in my chair at work, didn't rule this out. Now, three days of rest later, without any improvement and I'm getting worried.

Well... I'm getting a little worried. If I was a real triathlete-- as in, if this were something that I was going to keep on doing-- then I would probably be upset, but I'm not. This is my first and last triathlon and, while it's disappointing that I might not be able to do my best during my one and only, I'm going to do it, get it over with and not look back. I could wimp out. I've met my fundraising goal and I could probably still go to Hawaii and cheer on my teammates, so it's not about the trip. I made a commitment, is what it is, and that commitment was more than to raise money. That commitment was to put myself through this training, to work as hard as I can, and then to throw everything I have at this race.

I promise I won't do any lasting damage. If an X-ray confirms a fracture, then It's to the pool for me for the next four weeks, but I'm doing the race if I have to bike one legged and walk the whole 10k.

I'm doing this because people with blood cancers are fighting for their lives and I'm not about to tell them that I give up.

Thank you for your support. Please help my teammates in their fight to raise awareness and funds for LLS:

http://www.tinyurl.com/find-a-cure or http://www.tinyurl.com/cure-blood-cancer
-----------------

This week's tragedy:

Day 54 of training: (Tuesday track workout)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 14
Ocean Swims: 9
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 55 of training: (Wednesday pool swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 10
Maintenance Runs: 14
Ocean Swims: 9
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 56 of training: (Thursday 3 mile run)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 10
Maintenance Runs: 15
Ocean Swims: 9
Track/speed run workouts: 5
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Sushi before ocean swim

2009-02-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

Karmically, not the best decision, I realize, but the water was beautiful, once you got past the rough surf at the beginning and made your way through the cold spots. At the quarter-mile buoy, I met up with a guy who wanted someone to swim with and we set off for the half mile point. There's no marker there this time of year, so you kind of have to guesstimate it. He said he got nervous swimming alone. I don't see why-- he blew me out of the water. He got there a good 25 yards ahead of me and swam back so fast I lost sight of him after the first couple of minutes. Just trying to keep up made it one of my fastest miles to date probably (I don't swim with a watch).

Saturday we did a thirty mile bike/3 mile run time trial. Flat, windy, transition troubles and I got a flat. I nearly hit some recreational cyclists on the path near the end (their fault) and they were rude to me after. "Single file!" I sniped at them. I should have just kept my mouth shut and kept my focus. There's always going to be rude people. Instead I let them get to me and I forgot to use the last part of my ride to stretch my calves out. I felt like I was running on lead bricks the whole way and my quads ached like they never have before from a run. I've got to run twice as far for the race and all that after nearly a mile of swimming. I'm gonna hurl when it's all over. Just you see.

I almost skipped out on the ocean swim today, but I made it to practice just in time to hit the water for 1.5 miles. It was worth it. I love being in the water and I love the way it makes me feel after. I'm glad I found this sport, and glad it's something I might be able to do for the rest of my life, what with its low-impact nature and all.

So that's the news. Here's the break down:

Day 51 of training: (Friday 2/20 1 mile swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 14
Ocean Swims: 8
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 52 of training: (Saturday 2/21 30/3 mile bike/run brick)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 14
Ocean Swims: 8
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Day 53 of training: (Sunday 2/22 1.5 mile swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 14
Ocean Swims: 9
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 3

Oh, I almost forgot. Thanks to all the generous support from friends, family, co-workers and even some strangers, I've met my fundraising minimum for this event. The important work of Team In Training and The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society goes on though. Please consider making a donation to one of my teammates:

http://www.tinyurl.com/find-a-cure or http://www.tinyurl.com/cure-blood-cancer

Another abandoned blog...

2009-02-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

...not really.

Nor have I abandoned training (at least, not entirely). I just hit a little snag, but I'm getting back into the swing of things.

I got three hard days of training in before leaving for 6 days in Puerto Rico, during which I actually managed to get in an ocean swim. The Atlantic is considerably less forgiving an ocean than The Pacific, even in the Caribbean. You can't swim out past the break to get past the waves. They're everywhere. I finished the swim with scrapes on my knees and splinters in my fingers and toes. Splinters! From swimming! Who gets that?

After that it was pretty much a shambles. Four hard workouts and late nights with drinking (and dancing on a pole in a club) amounted to a two mile shuffle the next morning. Then that was that. Caught a cold at the tail end of the trip and pretty much an entire week was shot. Mentally I was out of focus and lacking determination. I kick-started things on Monday with a long-ish run followed by a spin class Tuesday and another short run yesterday. Last night was a day off for yoga class and this evening I'll try to get back in the ocean. Next week I'll start doubling workouts up.

I promise to try harder. This week I met up with an old friend from New York who was in LA for the week and learned that is son has been diagnosed with cancer. Triathlons aren't hard, chemotherapy is hard. Stop whining. Start getting in shape. There's work to be done.

On the plus side, I am now a mere $58 away from my fundraising minimum of $5450.00. Thank you to everyone who has donated. If you haven't been able to make a donation yet, please consider doing so today. I may be close to my goal, by The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society still has a lot of important work to do, and they need your help.

Thanks.

Here's the (rough) breakdown since my last post:

Day 37 of training: (Monday 1/26 approx 5 mile run and lifting)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 5
Spin classes: 5
Pool Swims: 7
Maintenance Runs: 10
Ocean Swims: 5
Track workout: 2
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 38 of training: (Tuesday 1/27 sprints in the sand-- approx 5 miles)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 5
Pool Swims: 7
Maintenance Runs: 10
Ocean Swims: 5
Track/speed workouts: 3
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 39 of training: (Wednesday 1/28 pool swim and spin)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 6
Pool Swims: 8
Maintenance Runs: 10
Ocean Swims: 5
Track/speed workouts: 3
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 40 of training: (Thursday 1/29 one hour biking on rollers)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 6
Pool Swims: 8
Maintenance Runs: 10
Ocean Swims: 5
Track/speed workouts: 3
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 41 of training: (Friday 1/30 1.5 mile ocean swim brrrrr followed by lifting)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 6
Spin classes: 6
Pool Swims: 8
Maintenance Runs: 10
Ocean Swims: 6
Track/speed workouts: 3
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 42 of training: (Saturday 1/31 5.4 mile run on trails)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 6
Pool Swims: 8
Maintenance Runs: 11
Ocean Swims: 6
Track/speed workouts: 3
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 43 of training: (Monday 2/2 spin class YOZERS!)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 7
Pool Swims: 8
Maintenance Runs: 11
Ocean Swims: 6
Track/speed workouts: 3
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 44 of training: (Tuesday 2/3 track workout DOUBLE YOWZERS!)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 7
Pool Swims: 8
Maintenance Runs: 11
Ocean Swims: 6
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 45 of training: (Wednesday 2/4 spin and swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 8
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 11
Ocean Swims: 6
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 46 of training: (Friday 2/6 0.75 mile ocean swim in the Atlantic with splinters!!!)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 8
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 11
Ocean Swims: 7
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 47 of training: (Saturday 2/7 2 mile run SLLLLOOOOW and painful)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 8
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 12
Ocean Swims: 7
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Sunday: 2/8 - Sunday 2/15: A whole lotta nutin'

Day 48 of training: (Monday 2/16 approx. 6 mile run)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 8
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 13
Ocean Swims: 7
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 49 of training: (Tuesday 2/17 spin class)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 13
Ocean Swims: 7
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 50 of training: (Wednesday 2/18 3 mile run)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 8
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 9
Pool Swims: 9
Maintenance Runs: 14
Ocean Swims: 7
Track/speed run workouts: 4
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Thursday 2/19: Yoga break.

Further Musings From a Once and Former...

2009-01-20T14:24:00.000-08:00

There is a saying that is popular with Team In Training that the coaches and mentors repeat at practice: "You think [insert workout type here] is hard? It isn't. Chemotherapy is hard."

Yes, it is easy to brush this off as a one-liner, but maybe instead you should think about it.

I awoke early this morning to aching knees which, as the humidly rises after five days of dry, sunny skies, continue to give me the occasional pang. I thought briefly this afternoon about skipping practice in favor of a slow, easy run, but then I remembered that there are people dealing with a lot more than a few aches and pains. Right now, someone is receiving Chemo; someone like you or me, someone older or younger; perhaps just a child; perhaps someone you know. That person is struggling with what this means for them, for their lives and longevity, while their hair falls out, while they get sick, while they deal with tubes and needles and cold hospital corridors under fluorescent light. Someone is struggling right now and, while it may not matter directly to that person if I finish this thing in under three hours or over six, I feel like giving it my all is the least I can do.

I made a commitment to a team, not just to raise money, but to compete in honor of those who struggle with cancer. The past couple weeks have been humbling. I've had many firsts-- or at least firsts for many years. I ran my first timed two-mile since I was eighteen, coming in nearly three minutes slower than I did back then. I drove home, feeling unsure about my ability to accept where I am with running after so many years away from it. I got on the phone with a friend from the college track team and told him that this one triathlon would be it for me. I couldn't compete without pushing myself as hard as I could, and I couldn't enjoy pushing myself through the pain and discomfort knowing that I had no chance to be truly competitive. As always, he put it into perspective:

"We did a lot back then, and it didn't seem like that big a deal... No. It seemed like a lot, but we did it somehow. You're working now with no base and, if you were to build that up again, you might be able to get back there, but it's a question of whether or not you want to put the work in".

He's right of course (He usually is). It's not just fourteen years and it's not just getting older. It's days and months and years of training. It's over ten-thousand miles end over end, day after day, run and now lost in the years in between. I could get them back, but I'd have to do it the only way possible. I'd have to run them again, and since I'm not willing and, perhaps, no longer able to, I'll have to be satisfied with the best I can do. Like my friend reminded me. It's not just whether or not I can win, it's whether I can push myself to do better and better each time. Existential crisis averted.

I'm done beating myself up and I'm done setting unreasonable expectations, and I'm also done with any excuses for slacking. Now I can get back to the business at hand of training for a triathlon. These past few weeks saw our first couple of brick workouts, our first group ocean swim at the shores (it was mostly practicing getting into and out of the water for the race, and I was behind in workout for the week, so I dropped my car off at the cove and swam across to meet the team). I've finally (thanks to our coach) found a pair of goggles that don't leak and don't dig into my nose. I've bought my first pair of tri-shorts and swam, biked and run in them. I've started taking showers with no hot water to condition my brain to be used to extreme temperatures (Try it. It works!). I've had plenty of times when I didn't want to workout and plenty of times, mid-workout where I wanted to quit or, at least, to slow down. When I didn't, it wasn't because I'm in great shape, or particularly tough or talented, it was because triathlon training isn't hard. Chemotherapy is hard.

So thanks to the mentors and coaches and thanks to everyone who has donated to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society through my fundraising page.

I'm at $4382 now, over two-thirds of the way towards my goal, with about eight weeks left. Please help me get the rest of the way.

Day 27 of training: (Weekly Pool Workout)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 6
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 4
Pool Swims: 5
Maintenance Runs: 7
Ocean Swims: 3
Track workout: 1

Day 28 of training: (5 mile run with teammates)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 6
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 4
Pool Swims: 5
Maintenance Runs: 8
Ocean Swims: 3
Track workout: 1

Day 29 of training: (1 mile swim in the pool)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 6
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 4
Pool Swims: 6
Maintenance Runs: 8
Ocean Swims: 3
Track workout: 1

Day 30 of training: (Brick Workout to Lake Hodges)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 6
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 4
Pool Swims: 6
Maintenance Runs: 8
Ocean Swims: 3
Track workout: 1
Bike/Run Bricks: 1

Day 31 of training: (Bike Ride to Mission Trails)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 4
Pool Swims: 6
Maintenance Runs: 8
Ocean Swims: 3
Track workout: 1
Bike/Run Bricks: 1

Day 32 of training: (1/2 mile ocean swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 4
Pool Swims: 6
Maintenance Runs: 8
Ocean Swims: 4
Track workout: 1
Bike/Run Bricks: 1

Day 33 of training: (2 mile time trial)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 4
Pool Swims: 6
Maintenance Runs: 8
Ocean Swims: 4
Track workout: 2
Bike/Run Bricks: 1

Day 34 of training: (spin, then swim)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 5
Pool Swims: 7
Maintenance Runs: 8
Ocean Swims: 4
Track workout: 2
Bike/Run Bricks: 1

Day 35 of training: (a short run)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 5
Pool Swims: 7
Maintenance Runs: 9
Ocean Swims: 4
Track workout: 2
Bike/Run Bricks: 1

Day 35 of training: (bike/run transition workout)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 5
Pool Swims: 7
Maintenance Runs: 9
Ocean Swims: 4
Track workout: 2
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

Day 36 of training: (1 mile ocean swim and surf entry/exit drills)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 7
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 5
Pool Swims: 7
Maintenance Runs: 9
Ocean Swims: 5
Track workout: 2
Bike/Run Bricks: 2

14 years

2009-01-07T13:17:00.000-08:00

That's how long it's been since my last track workout. Yesterday's was pansy-ass compared to what I used to do and it, predictably, kicked my pansy-ass as well. There was a time when I'd turn a 20 quarter workout in at about 63 seconds per quarter. We'd rest a 100 meters between each, 400 meters after every set of five. This was a tough workout, but not unreasonable.

Last night we ran 6 quarters after a ten minute warmup and an 800 at "training pace". The quarters were supposed to be at 60% (of max speed for 400 meters), then 70%, 80% and so on, up to 100%, then back down to 70%. We finished it off with another 800 at training pace.

The idea was to teach people about pace, who have no idea what their limits are. This was good for me because, frankly, I've no idea what kind of shape I'm in and my sense of pace is shot-- or so I thought. Turns out my sense of pace is OK. It's my sense of how fast I should be that's all out of wack.

I figured I could still turn in a 60 second quarter if the chips were down and I was asked to go all out (this is off from my best time of 52 -- I was never very fast), so I based my first four off of that and I hit the correct time on each, plus of minus a second or two. Not too shabby. After turning in the 90% at 73 seconds and not feeling too bad, I figured a 60 was in me.

I figured wrong. I ran 70 flat and felt that I gave it everything I got. There was a time when that was my mile pace (which is actually pretty damn slow for a competitive runner). I knew I was nowhere near that, but SEVENTY SECONDS? For an ALL OUT 1/4 mile?

Did I mention that running is hard?

PS I'm on pace with my fundraising at least, but I need your help for the final stretch. Please consider donating if you haven't already:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

---

Day 26 of training: (first track workout in 14 years)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 6
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 7
Ocean Swims: 3
Track workout: 1

Holiday

2009-01-06T14:35:00.000-08:00

The holidays were a bit of a shambles. Christmas week, I got two workouts in with a failed attempt at third when rain started pouring down on my bike (I got fifteen minutes of riding in, followed by two hours of cleaning grit off my bike). Family was here and I didn't take extra time off work, so training, and writing suffered.

Fundraising, however, is still on track. Tis the season and all.

If you haven't donated yet, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society for 2009, through my fundraising page:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

I need your help to make it the last bit of the way.

New Year's week training was a little bit better, despite having a party to plan and execute, with five days of working out. See the daily breakdown below for details.

Getting back into the swing of things felt so good, I promptly took Monday off.

-----
Day 19 of training: (a short run)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 3
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 4
Ocean Swims: 2

I only got about three miles in. My family was coming into town, I was rushed and it was getting late.

Day 19 1/2 of training: (an utter failure)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 3 (and an aborted attempt at 4)
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 4
Ocean Swims: 2

It was drizzling when I took my bike out, and coming down pretty hard a few minutes later. Maybe on an older bike I would have kept going, but not with Alexandra.

Day 20 of training: (bike ride around Lake Murray)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 4
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 5
Ocean Swims: 2

It was sunny and clear today, clear as it only can be after the rain here in San Diego. It was a bit cool though, so I bundled up and rode east to lake Murray.

You'd think that San Diego would be a bicyclist's paradise, what with it being sunny and 60 - 70 degrees most of the year, but there are two things that prevent this from being the case:

1. San Diego has a policy of not fixing up the roads until they actually start to slide down the hillsides (literally: http://photos.signonsandiego.com/gallery1.5/071003soledad). What you end up with is rutted and cracked asphalt, potholes and bumps. Not fun.
2. Before you can get to anywhere worth biking, anywhere that's not an urban center or just stupid with traffic, you need to get in your car and drive there (or bike through the traffic for 30 miles first, but I'm not in that kind of shape).

The Lake Murray ride is a good compromise because I can take a relatively short route from my house on a main road and then cut off into some less traveled streets. With the exception of a rather harrowing jaunt across a freeway overpass with 4 entrances and exits and no bike lane, it's a pretty mellow trip to the lake, bumpy pavement notwithstanding. Once you get the the lake, it's smooth riding on the path, so long as you keep a careful eye out for dogs and kids and people who aren't paying attention to where they are going. It's a tree-lined, pretty path that looks more like New England than San Diego (ah, nostalgia) and wide enough to hit a good clip without hitting anybody else around the turns. Unfortunately, about three quarters of the way around the lake, the path ends at a big, chain-link gate and you have to turn around and go back the other way. Nice try San Diego Parks and Rec. Better luck next time. I give the ride four snaps in Z formation and a thumbs sideways for effort. 24 miles

Day 21 of training: (a longer run)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 5
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 6
Ocean Swims: 2

I left from my girlfriends house for this one and explored the neighborhoods from a slightly different angle. It was dark and kind of cold and I wasn't too happy about it. Maybe it was just one of those days that feels more difficult, or maybe running is actually pretty hard. 4.3 miles

Day 22 of training: (an attempt to ride to the office that fails)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 5
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 6
Ocean Swims: 2

I had to go home at noon for emergency repairs to the hot water faucet in the kitchen, which had decided to free-flow. I had the bright idea of riding my bike back to work, but didn't leave until late as the plumber took a while to arrive. I decided to take a "new route" which took me several miles down a road that turned out to be a dead end. I turned around and went home. It was dark. Lesson learned. 25 miles.

Day 23 of training: (running is hard)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 5
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 7
Ocean Swims: 2

I wanted to stop early. Oh yes, I wanted to stop early. In fact, I almost did. I gave myself several outs. In the end, I didn't. I'm not sure why. Yes. It's definitely that running is hard. 4.3 miles.

Day 24 of training: (my first crash)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 6
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 7
Ocean Swims: 2

I decided that I couldn't be afraid of getting my bike dirty. Bikes are for riding. So I took her out in the rain and got her good and soaked and dirty. I also had my first crash, the bike skidding out on a tight, blind right turn where a washout had strewn sand across the path. I felt her slip and started to jam on the brakes, which was probably the wrong move. I went down hard, but not fast on my right side, luckily cushioning the bike's fall. She skidded a bit, I skidded a bit. We both lost some skin, but no major damage. I got home, cleaned off a couple of nice raspberries on my hip and forearm and then spend another hour and a half cleaning all the grit out of my gears and chain. Took me two hours on Monday to get her back in tune, but I confirmed: no lasting damage. Whew. 40.4 miles.

Day 25 of training: (57 degree water is cold)
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 6
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 7
Ocean Swims: 3

Four feet visibility. Chilly. Late in the day, coming back against a setting sun with my goggles leaking the whole way... and that's all I have to say about that. 1/2 mile.

Air Conditioned Gypsy

2008-12-21T20:58:00.000-08:00

Day 18 of training:
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 3
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 3
Ocean Swims: 2

Sunday is the only day of the week that I have wholly and completely off-- no obligations, nothing specific I need to do. It's also the only day I have to get all the stuff done around the house that I didn't have time for during the week.

So, naturally, I went for a swim.

It was fifty-nine degrees in the cove today, and it's always colder when you're just getting in. It's not only that you're not warmed up yet, it's colder on the way back in too-- something about the way the water circulates in there. I don't understand it, but when your wet-suit first fills up with the stuff, it's not a whole lot of fun. The first few strokes the muscles in your ribcage tighten and it feels like you're not gonna be able to squeeze any air into your lungs. I swim an extra stroke to each breath at the start so I don't have to think about it as often. As to how the long-timers make this swim with no wet-suit, I've no idea, but I see them out there in their speedos each time, and each time it amazes me.

I've learned to gut through the beginning, when you question the idea of going for a swim in December, even in Southern California. As always, once I get a hundred yards out, my body heat has warmed up the water trapped in the suit and it's only cold when an errant movement forces a new rush of water through a sleeve or down the back of my neck. After a while, I was barely even cold; comfortable, but on the cool side, like I was wearing an air conditioned suit.

I expected the swim to be slow and difficult, and slow it was. I wasn't sure I'd go further than the quarter-mile buoy before turning back, but I got there and it seemed like I hadn't been going all that long, so I kept on at it. I swam to the half-mile buoy, or at least, to where I thought it should be, since they take it out for the winter. I tread water for a minute or so and looked out to the shore and back to the cove. I love doing that.

I considered the shore, which was closer now than the cove, but my feet were getting cold and swim or walk, I'd have to get back to the cove to get my car. I didn't want to do that on frozen feet, so I turned, and put my head back in the water and pointed it towards the high palm trees and setting sun to the west.

I made it back in what seemed like no time at all. Slow, but no time at all.

2008-12-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

Day 17 of training:
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 3
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 3
Ocean Swims: 1

2008-12-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

Day 16 of training:
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 2
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 4
Maintenance Runs: 3
Ocean Swims: 1

2008-12-18T21:50:00.000-08:00

Day 15 of training:
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 2
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 3
Maintenance Runs: 3
Ocean Swims: 1

Swim practice was canceled on Wednesday, so that was my day off. On Thursday I went for an unprecedented second run in one week. It was a group run, meaning that there was one other person there. It a five mile out and back, slower on the return, which is not normally how I like to do things, but it was nice to have a little company.

Being caught up in your own head is not always such a good thing.

2008-12-16T18:21:00.000-08:00

Day 14 of training:
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 2
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 3
Maintenance Runs: 2
Ocean Swims: 1

In keeping with my promise to take it easy, yesterday was a ten mile ride about town, with only one major hill and very little effort exerted.

It was nearing dark by the time I went for my ride, so I attached my new headlight and taillights for the first time. I have to assume that they worked pretty well in that I made it home without being run over by a San Diego driver.

So that was nice.

Love Is So Short...

2008-12-15T22:08:00.000-08:00

TonightI ran in the rain and the dark. It poured all day and, since I didn't have my swim gear at work with me, it was either a night run, or a bike session on the rollers out in the garage. There was a time when this would have been a no-brainer and I would be happily galumphing out the door in my running shoes without giving it a second thought, but I'm not the runner I used to be. I'm not really a runner at all. I'm fatter and slower and the Indian Buffet dinner I had was still sitting heavy in my stomach at nine PM when I hit the roads in shorts and a dark colored long-sleeve T-shirt, with a white short-sleeve over it for visibility. At least I'd be warm.

It took a while to get going, to start to feel like my own breathing wasn't some alien thing trying to escape from my chest, but then it clicked. I heated up and I was off. Sometimes I remember why I used to love running so much. I let my feet get into the steady pocketa-pocketa rhythm, each step on the wet asphalt a squelch of muted speed. The scenery passed by and I began to drift.

What do you think about when you run? Silly question. What do you think about when you don't run? It's like that, but clearer; more intense. Distractions belong only to the world around you. You're isolated with your thoughts. Mostly I think about running. Sometimes I think about racing. I think about what I could have been if only. I've got this special fantasy, this "going back in time" fantasy where I get to do it all over, only this time around without the bum hip socket. Where I take myself back to on any given day depends on what I'm feeling I need to fix. Relationships? Money? Marketable skills? You name it and I've got the date for the time machine.

When I think about running though, I go back to the summer of 1992. Late summer-- August actually-- sometime in the morning. I couldn't tell you the exact date, but I can tell you it was one of our first workouts on the track for the year-- just before school started-- and that I could feel the strength of all those summer miles built up.

We had just gotten through the hard part of a Joe special workout and were doing three quick 150s to test our speed. I was coming around the turn of the second repeat, into the straight-away, with Matt O'Gara by my side. We were neck and neck, pushing for the finish line with all we had, but we weren't racing each other. We were happy to be nearly done with the workout and feeling the freedom left in the summer, proud of the strength in our long strides. We were looking forward to what the coming season would bring. We didn't talk about this, but I felt it there between us, unspoken and, while I don't know if Matt would even remember that day if I found him now, I'm as sure of this as I'm sure of anything.

The season would be a good one, though we'd lose to Walpole and narrowly miss an undefeated title. Later that fall, I'd miss cross country league all star by one place-- running down a slew of competitors to lose to a kick in the last 50 meters. I'd find that runner in indoor track and punish him weekly, far surpassing him, making sure he knew he was never in my class. Again, I'd miss all-star status, this time because of the flu. In the spring, I'd finally make league champion, but it would be bitter-sweet. The only competitors who could challenge me would decide to run the mile, instead of the deuce, so halfway through the race I'd take the lead and simply run away from the rest of the pack. I'd run my hardest, puking my guts out after the finish, but still not top my best time from the indoor season.

And then it was essentially over. I ran in college for two years and they were great years. I made the best friends of my life there and I'm forever thankful for the experience, but I was never really a competitor. I was never a match for those who simply ran away from me in the end.

I hate to be one of those washed-up ex jocks, constantly talking about the glory days and, for the most part, I'm not. I've been away from the competitive stuff for far too long, and while I miss parts of it, already most of me is aching to have this race over with so I can stop chasing those who left me in the dust long ago. I'll go back to yoga after this, and rock climbing. I'll take my bike on long, leisurely rides and, if I compete at all, it will be in the ocean, where I'm inexperienced and good and ready to get left in the tide without any second thoughts on the matter...

...and that will be that. and I won't miss it at all.

Day 13 of training:
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 1
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 3
Maintenance Runs: 2
Ocean Swims: 1

A Second Day of Rest

2008-12-14T17:56:00.000-08:00

I took Sunday off too, which was needed after TPB. I couldn't sleep in, because I had the kids and they're a good bit of a drive away, but I got to bed plenty early the day before.

The day was cool and crisp with clear sunny skies and some clouds, much like a fall day back home. I brought the kids to the park to play Frisbee and noticed the grass had been marked out for a cross country race. Not just any cross country race, but the Foot Locker National High School Championships. Now if that's not cause for nostalgia, I don't know what is.

I've been thinking more about the then vs the now and, yes, motivations got a lot to do with it, but that's not the only thing. I was younger and more resilient then too, but that's not exactly it either. I just don't have a base. I've jumped into this thing all intensity and no base mileage. I've got no long slow distance in the bank.

So tomorrow I hit the reset button and we'll see how it goes.

Total. Physical. Breakdown.

2008-12-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Day 12 of training:
Group rides: 3
Solo rides: 1
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 3
Maintenance Runs: 1
Ocean Swims: 1

...and then Saturday came and with it the dreaded TPB.

We did "rolling hills" out in Poway, which turned out to mean a 15 mile out and back course with two very big hills-- one of them probably about a mile and a half climb. I did the course twice, because the guy I was riding with wanted to and, had I not, I would have had to ride again later to fill in the mileage. Then I went home, showered, puttered around the house for a few minutes while making phone calls to find someone to have brunch with me and, unsuccessful, headed out on my own to The Mission Cafe for some french toast and bacon. I really wanted pancakes, but The Mission's pancakes kind of suck.

By the time I got my food my stomach was in knots and I had to force down as much as I could, fighting nausea the whole time. I finished my cheerless mess and trudged home under a grey, equally cheerless sky, where I went promptly to bed to sleep for 3 hours, interrupted only by a phone call and visit from my girlfriend. I was quite grumpy with her.

When I finally hoisted my ass out of bed, it was after five o'clock and I had shopping, errands and clean-up to get done, not to mention dinner, before going to a holiday party. Luckily another shower and some sugar in my system got me going a bit. Later I bought a soda and the bubbles got rid of the cramped feeling in my tummy with a few good burps. Ah... sweet medicine.

We hit the party, but were home by 10:30 and in bed asleep promptly after, huddled against the coldest night San Diego has seen so far, myself cozy in the decision that I would be taking yet another day off training tomorrow.

---

I need your help now more than ever:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

This Time Around...

2008-12-13T17:08:00.000-08:00

...He rested on the 5th day.

The buildup is getting to me and I need a day to recover, lest I hit TPB. I'll do my swim on Sunday...

I will, however, spend some time tonight on my fundraising.

F*@$%, I Hate Spin Class...

2008-12-11T22:45:00.000-08:00

Day 11 of training:
Group rides: 2
Solo rides: 1
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 2
Pool Swims: 3
Maintenance Runs: 1
Ocean Swims: 1

I honestly do. There's this music--terrible music-- and this person with a static-y microphone yelling at me and I'm working myself nearly to death, but when I look around the room everyone else seems just as cool as a cucumber. Are they all in devastatingly better shape than I am? Are they cheating? Sandbagging? How does their machine's resistance compare to mine? Let's get off the bikes and test right now. RIGHT @#$%! NOW DAMMIT!

OK. I'm better now.

There were other things I wanted to talk about, but I'm too tired. I went to this spin class, you see.

It sucked.

Take pity on me please.

About Last Night

2008-12-11T13:05:00.000-08:00

Day 10 of training:
Group rides: 2
Solo rides: 1
Resistance training: 4
Spin classes: 1
Pool Swims: 3
Maintenance Runs: 1
Ocean Swims: 1

Another pool swim yesterday, and I jumped right in with the fast guy again. I'd say he got about 300 yards ahead of me during an hour swim. Maybe more.

Let's talk about goggles though, shall we? Yes. You see, I've got this face that goggles just don't want to have anything to so with. My eyes are set deep and I've got a big nose with a prominent bridge. If I get goggles with gaskets that fit my eyes right, then the bridge inevitably cuts into my nose. If I get a pair with an elastic bridge, the gaskets don't seal. I'd finally come up with a workable option by bastardizing a pair with good eye fit. I took off the regular bridge and tied them together with an elastic band. It took my a while to get the length of the band correct, but once I did, they worked great-- for two swims. At the end of the second, a big honking wave came and bowled me over, knocking them somewhere down the bottom of the cove. I hope the fishies are enjoying them.

In other news, I'm still quite sore today, or rather, I'm quite sore again. I'm banking on the fact that I'll get used to the training in a few weeks. I've eased up when I've absolutely needed to in order to prevent TPB, but otherwise it's been a slow, steady accumulation of fatigue.

Day 10 and I need a nap.

On the fundraising front, if you haven't yet, please donate:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy
(or even if you have and are feeling generous, for that matter):

The pace has been good so far, but it's fallen off after my initial few emails and I'm only about an eight of the way there. Have I mentioned yet that I'm nervous about not being able to do this? I am. Please help.

Wisely

2008-12-09T13:16:00.000-08:00

Day 9 of training:
Group rides: 2
Solo rides: 1
Resistance training: 3
Spin classes: 1
Pool Swims: 2
Maintenance Runs: 1
Ocean Swims: 1

I took it a little easier these past couple of days, skipping my weight room sessions and sleeping in this morning, in favor of a light noon-time ride along the hilly loops inside the park near my house. I had planned to hit the gym after work for some lifting, but by end of day a fatigue had descended on me like you wouldn't believe. I feared the looming TPB, so I went home and had dinner instead.

Was it always this difficult? I remember days in high school when I was tired from all-nighters or tough track practices. I remember barely being able to walk up and down stairs my freshman year of college, my calves were so sore, but it seemed easier then.

"Is it that we are busier now with work, older, or simply less motivated?" I recently asked a high school friend. "Did we really do so much more back then, or does it just seem like we did looking back."

"We did more." He assured me. "We kicked butt back then. We were motivated."

His theory is that we had goals at that time-- concrete goals-- and I'm inclined to agree. Now, I'm not saying that we don't have hopes and dreams and goals now, but do they compare with the simple parental directive to get into a good college? Do we have anything as drilled into our heads today as the message back then that we must excel in school, that we must do all we can because the rest of our lives depend on it?

Look, if we work our asses off until we're burnt our bosses will probably notice and appreciate it. We'll probably get a good performance review and maybe even a raise or promotion. These are all good things, but as it's been pointed out to me by my boss-- why burn yourself out? You do what you need to do to meet the company goals and you live you're life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I slack. I'm not even saying that I don't try to go above and beyond, I'm just saying that I don't do it to the ridiculous levels that I did when I was 16. Five hours of homework a night? Can you imagine? Someone get me a beer.

Hey, I work hard, but it's not like we're curing cancer over here. Say, speaking of, you know who is? The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Please donate now:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

And of Course

2008-12-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

I didn't get up early enough to ride into work. This means I'm going to have to try to go home at lunch and ride then. This will certainly be inconvenient, but the extra hours of sleep were well worth it.

My girlfriend got up at 5:30 am to go to work and I, as usual, watched her get ready out of one open eye, no doubt moaning softly the whole time at the cruel fate that caused me to be awake at such an hour. I stayed in bed and flitted in an out of sleep until 8:15, later than I normally wake up, before I got out of bed and got ready for work.

I tend to be a bit grumpy in the morning. It's probably for the best.

Chlorine-y

2008-12-08T22:02:00.000-08:00

Day 8 of training:
Group rides: 2
Resistance training: 3
Spin classes: 1
Pool Swims: 2
Maintenance Runs: 1
Ocean Swims: 1

I'm not a fan of the pool. Oh, it's nice sometimes. It's more relaxing than battling the waves, I suppose, but while I come out of the ocean feeling beachy and refreshed, I come out of the pool feeling crispy and covered in chemicals. It takes three showers to get the chlorine smell out of my skin and hair, unless I use lime juice (and I get tired of squeezing all those limes) and it dries me out somethin' awful. Like I said though, there was no way I was going into the ocean on a day that felt as cold as today.

I swam about a mile in the pool and then took a few well deserved minutes in the hot tub. As always after I swim, I got hungry quick-- hungrier than I get after running or biking. I've no idea why. This swimming thing's still a bit of a mystery to me.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to get up early and ride my bike into work. Yeah. I've said that before. We'll see what actually happens.

Cold, Cold Air

2008-12-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking. I live in San Diego. What do I know from cold? Still, it's grey and dreary today and the office is over air-conditioned. I'm sitting at my desk with a jacket on all day, staring out the window at a cloudy sky.

There's just no way I'm getting into the cove this afternoon. Besides, I really can't leave work early for a swim and it will be well dark by five o'clock.

I would have considered skipping out on the workout today, but I got a few more donations to my fundraising page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

So I feel like I owe it to all of you to keep on at it. I'll hit the pool instead and get done that which needs doing.

I feel much better today, after just one day off. I wouldn't say that I'm fully rested, but my body is a lot less sore and my joints less achy. I think a six-day a week schedule is probably best, for now anyway. No need to drive myself into the ground before I even get started.

I'll let you know how it goes tonight.

Interlude

2008-12-07T13:11:00.000-08:00

I'm taking today totally, wholly and completely off.

What? You've got something to say about that? Well, here's a blog about penguins.

There. I think I've showed you what's what.

Vomit at 35 MPH

2008-12-06T22:50:00.000-08:00

I've never been a very good cyclist. I did it competitively in college for a couple years, but mostly for yucks, so I could be on a team and travel and stay in hotels and get up early in the morning to race in the beginners category with a bunch of skittish newbies in a pack. It was good fun, but I never really got it down. I just didn't have the leg muscles, or the motivation, or the money to spend on a fancy bike.

Well, now I have a fancy bike, as you can see. It's pretty and light and very, very fast and when I pedal on it it actually goes, which is a whole new thing for me. Sorry Snuggles, you were a good bike for nearly 15 years, but I've given you up for a lighter model. A lighter model that was custom built for me. Can you blame me?

All this to say that I've found hill climbing-- the one part of biking that I was actually pretty decent at-- all the easier, and now seem to have made myself the reputation as being fast on the uphill. Now, this isn't that big a deal. When guys get together for athletic type endeavors, we like to engage in this sort of bizarre exchange of trash talk and complements. You tell someone they're fast, then you make fun of his jersey. You complement his fancy new bike and then tell him he'll need all the help he can get to keep up. It's all in good fun. Problem is, as lighthearted as it may be, this hill climbing rep is something that my over-competitive ass feels it needs to maintain now that it's been thrust upon me. This, of course, meant that I had to be first up every time in our Saturday hill repeat session and I was, at the near cost of vomiting my granola bar and the half cup of eggnog I so unwisely consumed before the workout.

I'm getting old. Why can't I just let it go?

Because I'm not old yet.

Day 7 of training:
Group rides: 2
Resistance training: 3
Spin classes: 1
Pool Swims: 1
Maintenance Runs: 1
Ocean Swims: 1

OH yeah. I still need your help.

Cold, Cold Water.

2008-12-05T15:26:00.000-08:00

Day 7 of training:
Group rides: 1
Resistance training: 3
Spin classes: 1
Pool Swims: 1
Maintenance Runs: 1
Ocean Swims: 1

Four years ago I sat in the shower, broken emotionally and physically, and let the water run over my head while I tried to figure out for the umpteenth time, exactly what had become of me, and what I was going to do to fix my situation. That's when it came over me with utter clarity, like the water from the shower head (and what is it about being near running water that makes us all think clearer?). The body can only handle so many stresses. I couldn't fix what was physically wrong with me-- I was sitting in the shower that day, because I couldn't stand. I couldn't afford to quit my stressful job, so there was only one stress left to be eliminated. There were things I couldn't figure out or fix and those things I was just going to have to let go.

So I did.

I took care of what I could that evening and from the moment I woke up the next morning until today I've been going through the long, slow process of fixing up and moving on. It's worked out pretty good so far. In a few weeks I had my sanity back. In a couple months I had my legs and four months later I had a new apartment, a new phone number and email address and a new job. I rebuilt and I vowed that I would make my next life in San Diego a better one. I would go to the beach more. I would spend more time outdoors and with friends. I would save money and live simply and wisely and, for the most part, except for that "wisely" bit, I have.

Of all the changes I made, the best was ocean swimming.

My first swim was three years ago this past summer when my friend's husband took me out to the 1/4 mile buoy at La Jolla Cove. It was with no goggles and regular swim trunks. I was slow and scared, uncomfortable and cold. He let me put on his goggles for the swim back, which may have been worse. I started at every piece of seaweed and every fish. Towards the end, I swam over the swaying sea grass and hit solid ground water logged and dizzy from the rhythms of the waves. I loved it. I was very proud.

I pestered him time and again to go out with me, but he was often busy. Towards the end of the summer I finally got the guts to go out on my own a few times, then that was it for the year. The next season I started again, working my way up to a one mile swim, dragging friends along when I could, still nervous about doing it alone. A couple times I went at night, and watched the red-tide water spark and glow as I splashed my way back in-- eerie and beautiful-- but it didn't do anything to help my fear.

This past year I got a wetsuit and started early in the spring. I swam both solo and with some more serious swimmers several times a week, mostly a mile, sometimes more. I even jumped in a couple of competitions, if only to prove how slow I am.

Mostly my fear has been replaced by a sort of deep uneasiness, though I still feel my guts squirm whenever I drive down to La Jolla to jump in. The ocean is so far out of my element. Swimming has never been my strong suit. So many things could go wrong. Sometimes though, when I slip in and the calming waters surround me, or when I tread water from halfway across to the shore, looking back west as the sun sets, there's a sense of extreme calm and I know I'm exactly where I should be, exactly then.

Today was not like that.

Today was cold and the waves were high and when the water flooded my wetsuit my heart began to race. My goggles leaked and I spent too much time fixing them rather than warming myself up. I slogged to the 1/4 mile buoy only and slogged back, stopping often on the way. It wasn't the best swim ever, but it also wasn't unpleasant. The sun was warm and the skies were clear. The water was less kelpy than normal and I stopped at the buoy for a while and looked around and felt OK with everything and that's really more than anyone can ask for at any time.

---

1/4 Mile Ocean Swim
Water temperature 61.1 degrees
waves: head + height
PM Weight Training

Please support the good work of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by making a secure, tax-deductible, online donation to my fundraising page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

Share this link and this blog with your friends and encourage them to donate to this worthy cause as well. It's your support that keeps me going.

Interspace

2008-12-05T11:29:00.000-08:00

I woke this morning into a world where everything was made of sleep. I struggled through and finally surfaced enough to realize that my body felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

Hope you can help:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

Run Run Run Run...

2008-12-04T22:05:00.000-08:00

Day 6 of training:
Group rides: 1
Resistance training: 2
Spin classes: 1
Pool Swims: 1
Maintenance Runs: 1

Today I ran. I was going to wait until later in training to start adding runs in order to save my joints, but it was too dark to ride when I got out of work, I had lifted yesterday and a swim or spin class was out of the question.

I spent the day at my desk, hunched over and sore from my first workout in the pool yesterday. All that pulling did a number on my shoulders and the kicking left a deep ache in my thighs. I'm sure that lifting yesterday afternoon didn't help much either. Though I'd packed clothes for spin class in my gym bag, I'd decided that today would best be an easy day. If I'm going to make it through three months of training, I have to not blow it all in week one. Do too much and I'm liable to spend next week in bed with a bad cold.

It's hell getting old.

I used to be a runner. I used to glide easily for endless miles along road, trail and track at blistering speeds while my mind floated and dreamt. It was easy then. It's not so easy now. Now my joints ache and my limbs flail out at odd angles at inconvenient times. My breathing is harsh and when I think I'm hitting a pretty hot pace, I come to find I'm running slower than I've ever run before. I'd laugh at myself if I had the breath. Mostly, it's a struggle, but sometimes still-- for briefer and briefer moments-- I find that place and I drift off in my head while my body ticks off the miles. Today was like that. I wrote in my head while I ran and so, when I got home, I started this blog.

I'll post updates here as often as I can for those who care to follow (and even for those that don't). Please come back and check on my progress. If I don't write for a few days in a row, maybe drive around San Diego and see if you can find me-- lost, tired and scared-- wheezing by the side of the road.

In other news, fundraising started yesterday in full swing with the creation of my donation page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/lavatri09/dtuffy

Please visit and support the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's mission to fight cancer. I really need your support. This triathlon isn't going to run itself you know (or swim itself, or bike itself, for that matter). The support of people like you will be the fuel that keeps me going. Please share this link, and this blog, with your friends and encourage them to donate as well.